


Critical Fail

by alchemist17



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galra Keith (Voltron), M/M, Post-Episode: s06e03 Monsters & Mana, Trans Keith (Voltron), Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 23:19:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemist17/pseuds/alchemist17
Summary: Keith plays Monsters and Mana with the other paladins.Aka 1,500 words of window dressing to get fantasy rpg Keith to bang fantasy rpg Shiro.





	Critical Fail

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I hope my dnd is accurate, it's been a couple years and i played like, twice. This keith is based on ikimaru's art. I gave him more doglike characteristics to counter Lance's catlike ones, and as it turns out it's female dogs who knot by just clamping down. Look at you, learning new stuff everyday. About dog anatomy and medieval armour.  
> I hope you like it! I had a great time writing them playing the game.

There isn’t a lot to do on the long ride back to Earth. So Coran is happy to break out the data pads when Pidge and Hunk mention it. Everyone gathers around the conference table in their fancy borrowed ship, loading up their characters.

“Keith, will you play? Shiro liked it.” Coran waves a pad at him. “I’ll tone down the combat since it’s your first time.”

“It was fun.” Shiro says. He holds the tablet and his stump twitches as he tries to use his arm. His face freezes for a second before he blinks, puts the tablet down on the table so he can use the screen.

Pidge props it up with a wrench from her pocket.

“Oh! Thank you.”

“I’ll fix something better up for you later.”

“So what do I need to do?” Keith takes a pad, slides into the booth beside Shiro. “What sort of warrior would be best suited for the team?”

“Ah-ah-ah! That would be too easy. You have to pick something and make it work. That’s how life is.” Coran says perkily. “And no-one is allowed to tell him or I’ll cast a session long spell of fog over your character.”

Shiro shrugs at him. “Just go with what feels natural.”

“Yeah, Shiro’s basically the same person in the game.” Pidge points out.

“Okay. What feels natural.”

 

(From here regular text is what’s happening in the game, and bold text is what’s happening around the table.)

They’re walking in the forest, with Meklavar telling them about their latest axe.

“My legs are tired. Can we sit down, or can someone at least carry me?” Pike leans on one of the dwarf’s armoured shoulders.

“I’m not carrying you.” They shrug him off.

At the intersection ahead, a coach stops. Someone slender is left behind when it pulls away, turning to look at them. He's purple, with paler stripes on his face. His skin is covered in a short soft fur and his ears, big and sensitive, protrude from his thick, dark hair. He wears simple, leather armour, dyed a dark red. He raises his hand to introduce himself.

**“Roll for charisma to see how that goes.”**

**Keith holds out his hand for the twenty sided die. “What number do i need?”**

**“Well, the party are pretty friendly and you haven’t shown any hostility yet. Just get a five or higher.”**

**“Okay.”**

**He rolls a one.**

“Me **,** Yorak. Like swords.” He holds up a pair of short, redish purple swords.

**“I roll to seduce Yorak.”**

**“Alrighty. Because you’re a paladin and charisma is one of your natural skills, this should be a pretty easy roll for you. Get an...eight or higher to seduce Yorak.”**

**Keith holds up his hand. “Is there any way I can avoid this?”**

**“I could refuse, but I think it’ll be funny, so I’m going to allow it.”**

**Keith hands the d20 over. Shiro rolls a twenty.**

The paladin springs forward, brandishing a rose retrieved from within his armour. It’s wilted, but even as he holds it out the stem straightens and the rose brightens in colour until it shines.

“I am the twin brother of Takashi Shirogane, Gyro. Your soon to be husband.”

Meklavar hoots in the background and Valayun squeals.

“I can officiate! I think.” Block says excitedly, clasping his hands together.

Yorak swoons forward against Shiro, dropping his swords in favour of grasping the paladin’s pauldrons.

“I do.”

Gyro bends him over backwards to kiss him.

**“Okay, you guys are married. Add this item to your inventories and equip it.” He swipes at his screen and a pop up appears on their screens. It’s a ring.**

**“Coran, it says we can take damage for each other.”**

**“Yep. It's intended so one of you can absorb what would be a lethal attack to the other, but you can use it at any time. But look, you get an attack and a defence boost.”**

**“Why does it alter our perception?” Shiro asks.**

**“Because you're too busy mooning over each other.”**

**“Our characters are.”**

**“Yes Keith. Your characters are.”**

“Pike, if you're really so tired, there's a town nearby. I’ll summon a creature to take us.” Valayun pulls an arrow from her quiver. 

**“Roll this one.”**

**Allura tosses the pyramid die. “That… Doesn't look great.”**

There's a braying sound and they turn to see a single donkey.

Pike sighs. “Oh man, I really wanted a bed but… Perhaps the newlyweds would like some space to themselves for their wedding night?”

Yorak is still tightly wrapped in his paladin’s arms, silent as they stare into each other's eyes.

**“Hey! We don't do that.”**

**“I'm not saying you do, Keith. It's what your characters are doing because they're in love.”**

**“You guys do do that though. I have this whole collection of photos. I call it ‘homoerotic staring contests’.”**

**“You do not.”**

**Pidge holds up her personal tablet. “I could show you my favourites.”**

**Keith lunges for the tablet. “We don't do that, do we Shiro?”**

**“No we don't, Keith.” He whispers to Pidge. “Send me that folder.”**

“That would be very kind of you. I will leave behind my tent and bedroll so you shall be more comfortable; I shall have no need to them tonight.” The items fall to the ground as Gyro speaks. “My love?”

He lifts Yorak to sit side-saddle and climbs on behind him. Gyro throws his cape around them both with a dramatic flourish, keeping his precious new husband warm.

“To-”

**“What's the town called?** ”

**“Rockwood.”**

**“What the fuck.” Keith says earnestly.**

“To Rockwood!” Gyro declares.

The donkey starts to trudge down the path.

“Goodbye!” Valayun calls after them, waving. “Save some energy for tomorrow!”

**“Do you two want to talk through your magical night? It needs different rules but-”**

**“I think we can skip that.”**

**“Of course Shiro. One must remain the mysterious leader after all , and one does not do that by describing themselves and their spouse rolling in the sheets.”**

**“Our characters!” Keith stresses again.**

**“By describing themselves and their friend's married characters rolling in the sheets.”**

**“One does not.”**

**“I’ll give a temporary boost to your HP, endurance, stamina and charisma. But I'll temporarily make agility and strength rolls more difficult.”**

**“Why?”**

**“You'll understand when you're older, Pidge.”**

**“I don't get it.”**

**“Well Hunk, when a paladin loves a rogue-”**

**“Oh. Of course. Ew.”**

**“Well, since it’s getting late and the party are all tucked in for the night, how about we wrap it up for the evening?”**

(And back to plain text.)

 

“So what did you think of the game? I can’t wait to get to know Yorak.” Shiro says.

Keith pushes at his shoulder. “You could of got to know Yorak rather than immediately seducing him!”

“It’s a boon to both of our characters and I think a partner would really help my character.”

“Your character. Who everyone says is basically you.” Keith isn’t looking at him, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, Keith. I’m sure we can talk to Coran and redo your introduction.”

“It’s okay. I-I like it.”

“You do?”

Keith looks up from beneath his fringe. His cheeks are pink and when he sees Shiro looking he drops his gaze. He reaches out to hold Shiro’s hand.

“I’m just worried about them finding out. Don’t you think our dumb self inserts getting married is too much?

“I just wanted to marry you. Even if it is just in a game.”

“You’re adorable.”

Keith squeezes his hand “You remember what Coran said? About the different rules?”

“Oh?”

“You up for some roleplay?”

Shiro pulls him against his chest, assuming a serious expression as he stares down at his boyfriend. “Anything for you, my love.”

“Take me, Gyro.”

Shiro sweeps him up in his arms.

 

(back to the game world)

Gyro lifts him down off the donkey, brushes the back of his finger over one of the marks on Yorak’s cheeks. “Are you comfortable sharing a room and a bed with me?”

Leaning into the hand, Yorak tentatively licks the tip of his finger. “I would be very comfortable.”

Gyro leans in, as though he means to take him right here on the donkey. A groups of patrons exit the bar, laughing and shouting, and Gyro straightens up as he clears his throat.

“Let’s head inside.”

 

“Can we have a double room, please? And can I get some, uh, supplies?” Gyro asks, setting his coin purse on the counter.

Yorak lurks behind him, peeking around from behind his bicep.

“Will you be requiring refreshments?” The innkeeper asks, reaching under the counter for a key and a small glass bottle.

“I will handle that later.” Gyro drops coins into their hand and takes the items.

“Fine. Have a nice evening, lads.”

 

“You might want to sit down. This takes a while.” Gyro sets aside his cape and starts to work off a gauntlet.

Yorak flops down on the bed and pulls some bread from his bag. Next Gyro takes off the pauldron before starting on the other arm. Yorak is bored already. He starts unwinding his scarf. He slips off the wrist guards and starts to unwind the wrappings from his arms as Gyro undoes his belt. He takes off his his tunic and the chainmail while Yorak takes off his short armoured shirt and then his vest. He lays back to push his trousers down and off his feet as Gyro hastily undoes the plate armour around his feet and knees, then his calves and thighs until he stands triumphant in just his breeches.

“Gyro, I… Don't have what I think you were expecting.” Yorak begins nervously as he sits back up, legs tucked demurely before him. A purple, fluffy tail swishes out to try and cover his crotch but Yorak shoves it out of the way. “But I can still please you.”

“Do not fear, my love. I love every part of you.” Gyro kneels on the bed, keeping his shoulders low and relaxed.

“Even the parts you haven't seen yet?”

Gyro slowly leans in to kiss his cheek. “Every part. If you'll let me.”

Yorak still looks unsure but he starts to unfold his legs. Gyro sees plump folds between his legs instead of the taut skin of testicle he'd expected but he's no less entranced as Yorak leans back on his hands, sets his feet either side of his knees.

“It's beautiful.”

Yorak has a thatch of pubic hair on his mound, darker than the rest of his fur. It looks a lot like the humans Gyro had seen flash themselves at him in alleyways, spreading their folds to show him their entrance. Except Yorak has a bigger nub poking out from his flesh above his pussy, just enough that he thinks he could suck on it.

“A lot of humans find it weird.” Something about Gyro’s gaze makes him bold and he reaches down to spread himself lewdly. 

Gyro gasps, and Yorak slips his fingers into himself.

“Would you like to help?”

“Certainly.”

Yorak spreads his fingers, makes a space for Gyro. He curves his finger up, strokes until he finds someone in a slightly different spot than he's used to. His husband lets out a little moan before biting at his lip with sharp teeth.

“I thought paladins were supposed to be celibate?” Yorak says after a moment, his skin turning darker beneath the short fur.

“That's only clerics.”

Gyro rubs the spot until Yorak lets himself fall back onto the bed, thighs falling open. Every minute he feels more relaxed and soon Gyro can slip another finger inside him.

“Can-can I see you?” Yorak’s removed his fingers to make room and is touching his clit, stroking himself with the tip of a finger. He's managed his prop himself up in an elbow, desperate to watch. 

He pulls his cock out with one hand, gives it a few long strokes to relieve the ache.

“It's big.”

Gyro makes a noise of agreement as he squeezes another finger into Yorak’s pussy.

“You can put it in now, Gyro. I'm ready.”

“Soon, my love. You are still so tight.”

“Don't make me wait, please.”

“Nearly there.” Gyro bends down to take his clit between his lips, sucks as gently as he can. 

“By the gods, Gyro!” Yorak’s tail flashes out from beneath him, wags between his thighs against Gyro’s neck. “Get up here and consummate our marriage, please. I want you to take me like the big strong paladin you are.”

Gyro looks up and Yorak can see where his lips are pursed around his clit. He sucks, and presses his fingers into the spot he'd found. He makes Yorak come over his hand and into his mouth, a few drops of sweet spend from his clit.

“Gyro…” Yorak scrunches his eyes closed, covers his face with his arms. He looks like he could fall asleep, tucked warm and soft in his arms. But between his legs his pussy is wet and his clit is hard and Gyro’s head hurts from the lack of blood.

“You're ready.”

Yorak perks up immediately. He grabs at his shoulders, pulls him in for a proper kiss. His tongue is rough and he bites a little too hard, unused to humans. But Gyro lines himself up between his thighs and pushes in, keeps pushing as Yorak moans and trembles. He doesn't stop until he feels soft fur against his balls.

“Is this okay?” He asks, brushing hair back from his forehead and catching an ear.

Yorak jolts.

“My love?”

“My ear, scratch my ear!”

Gyro does, and Yorak’s tail starts to wag again excitedly, tickling their thighs.

“Now fuck me, please! I need you inside me.”

It's clumsy at first, trying to do both things at once. But Gyro gets the hang of it, pounds into his husband's wet pussy while he scratches his ear. Yorak is prostrate with pleasure beneath him, mouth open and drooling as he pants.

“Please, Gyro, I'm going to come. I love you Gyro…” Yorak whines.

Gyro shuffles his free hand up the bed, tucks it under Yorak’s shoulder until-

Yorak’s eyes open when Gyro starts to scratch his other ear as well. His eyes roll back and his back arches, and when he comes it's so forceful Gyro feels the fluid from his clit splash against his stomach. And then Gyro stops thrusting, because he feels like his dick is being crushed.

“Yorak-”

He's still lost in pleasure, hips rising aimlessly against Gyro.

“Yorak, my dick-”

And then Gyro comes too, dousing his lover's waiting body with his seed.

 

Later, when Keith is resting on Shiro's chest, soft cock tucked away inside him so they can pretend they're knotted, he speaks. 

“Let's get married. When we get back. To Earth.”

Shiro blinks at him sleepily. “You'd look good in white.” He's still scratching Keith's scalp.

“I'm not wearing a dress.”

But Shiro is already asleep, gone to dream of hiding beneath the skirts of his blushing bride to eat him out.


End file.
